Hygge Habits for a Hard Week

Some weeks are just heavy. Work piles up, sleep goes, someone you love is unwell, or nothing in particular is wrong and everything still feels like effort. On weeks like that, advice to "practise self-care" can sound like one more thing to do.

Hygge, the Danish idea of small, warm, unhurried comfort, is useful exactly here, because it asks for very little. This guide is about hygge habits for a hard week: what helps when your energy is low, why small comforts are worth taking seriously, and how to tell rest from hiding.

If you want the background on what hygge is, our guide What Is Hygge, Really? covers it.

Why small comforts matter on a hard week

On a heavy week, it is tempting to put everything pleasant on hold until things are better. That is understandable, and it often makes the week heavier.

Psychologists who work with low mood have a whole approach built on this observation. It is called behavioural activation, and it works by helping people gently add small activities that bring some pleasure or meaning back into their days, instead of waiting to feel better first. Reviews of the research have found it is an effective treatment for depression. A heavy week is not depression, and a candle is not therapy. But the principle is a kind one: doing a small thing that usually helps is more likely to lift your mood than waiting for your mood to lift.

Hygge habits for a hard week

Keep the bar low. Pick one or two, not all of them.

Lower the light

Switch off the overhead light in the evening and turn on a lamp, or light a candle if you like them. It is a small signal to your body that the day's demands are over.

Something warm, sitting down

Make a warm drink and sit down to drink it, even for five minutes, without your phone. The point is not the drink. It is the five minutes in which nothing is asked of you.

Ten minutes outside

Step outside once a day, even briefly: a slow walk round the block, a few minutes in a park, sitting by a window with the sky in view. In a large English survey of nearly 20,000 people, those who spent at least two hours a week in nature were more likely to report good health and high wellbeing, and it did not matter whether that came in one long visit or several short ones. It is an association, not proof, and about twenty minutes on most days adds up to it.

One simple meal

Cook one easy, comforting thing, or let someone cook for you. Soup, toast, a bowl of pasta. Food made without fuss, eaten slowly, is about as hyggelig as it gets.

One message to someone you like

You do not have to see anyone or explain anything. A single message, "thinking of you", or a short call with someone who is easy company, keeps a thread to other people on a week that pulls you inward. Feeling connected to others is one of the strongest things research links to wellbeing.

A soft end to the day

Pick one thing for the last half hour before bed: a book, a bath, music, stretching on the floor. Same thing each night if you can. Repetition makes it more restful, not less.

Let some things go

Hygge is also about what you stop doing. On a hard week, lower the standard for the house, the inbox and the plans. "Good enough" is a perfectly hyggelig standard.

Your own list of little joys

The most reliable comforts are your own, not anybody's list. On a lighter day, write down a handful of small things that usually help you: a song, a walk, a person, a meal, a place. Keep the list somewhere easy to reach. On a hard week, you will not have to think. You only have to pick one.

Rest or hiding?

Comfort is good for you. But on a hard week it is worth asking, gently, whether you are resting or retreating.

• Resting usually leaves you a little more able to face things afterwards.
• Hiding tends to leave you more stuck: the thing you are avoiding gets bigger, and the world gets smaller.

If staying in has started to mean avoiding everyone, if you have stopped doing even the things that used to help, or if the heavy week has turned into a heavy month, that is more than a need for comfort. Talk to your doctor or someone you trust. You do not have to wait until it is unbearable. If you are in danger, our help page lists services that answer day and night.

Being kind to yourself about it

A hard week is not a test of how well you look after yourself. Some days the most hyggelig thing you can manage is getting into bed early with the lights low, and that is enough. If you skipped every one of the ideas above, you have not failed at hygge. You have had a hard week. Our guide on what to do when you miss a day is about exactly that kind of kindness.

Doing it with Chirpi

Chirpi keeps your list of little joys for you. In the app, My Hygge holds up to twelve of them, and each one can become a habit or a planned step for a particular day, so the things that help you are there when you need them. If you are not sure what goes on the list, you can find more with Chirpi in a short conversation.

Chirpi is coming to iPhone and Android. The first seven days are free, with no card.

General wellbeing information, not medical advice. If you're struggling, here's where to find help.

Brice Macias

Brice founded Chirpi after going through low times himself and watching his family go through them too. He learned that people mostly want to be heard, and to have somewhere to go. Chirpi is built on both.

Sources

1. Ekers, D., Webster, L., Van Straten, A., Cuijpers, P., Richards, D. & Gilbody, S. (2014). Behavioural activation for depression; an update of meta-analysis of effectiveness and sub group analysis. PLoS ONE, 9(6), e100100.
2. White, M. P., Alcock, I., Grellier, J., et al. (2019). Spending at least 120 minutes a week in nature is associated with good health and wellbeing. Scientific Reports, 9, 7730.
3. Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B. & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review. PLoS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316.